Jack Bauer is a tough guy

...but you already knew that.

Smoking is a tough guy

With the aformentioned Jotobipe sick in bed, Zale the Grate in perpetual meetings, and Soddyc back on the wagon, the deacon now finds himself without a smoking buddy. The deacon hates you all. If all of your faces weren't already severely broken, the deacster would definitely have taken it upon himself to do the honors.

Rob Jotobipe is a tough guy

Imagine it's springtime in New York City. Imagine it's 50+ degrees and sunny out. You're at the office, sitting at your desk. Imagine you have a cough and the sniffles. Now, imagine that you're a little girl, and, because of the cough and sniffles, you decide to go home. If your name is Rob Jotobipe, imagine no more. It's you!

An Ode to the Pube on the Public Pisser

You shock and amaze me like no other foe
Just how you did get there, I don't want to know

Curly and dark, and rank as can be
You make lesser men cringe, back down and flee

But not the deacmeister, his mettle is known
He'll use the dang ur'nal that you now call home

You're tough and you know it, with juevos to spare
The deacon salutes you, you lone pubic hair

Walt is a tough kid (to find)

Walt's been missing for several weeks on Lost. Let the searching cease, for your eagle-eyed deacon has found him. Walt has assumed the name "Albie," and is currently making the rounds on My Name Is Earl. How conniving are The Others? Who would think to look for Walt on another network? You devious bastards!

Efficiency is a tough guy

Efficiency decided to take a vacation today, right when the deac needs it most. Feast your eyes on the deacster's iMac delivery route:

San Jose, CA ->
Fremont, CA ->
Sacramento, CA ->
Keasbey, NJ (where the hey-now is this?) ->
BROOKLYN, NY(!) ->
MANHATTAN, NY

Three jeers for you, Efficiency. You've finally hit the big time. You are today's tough guy.

Begun this Blog War has

It was bound to happen. You can't get this well-known and not have a few detractors. Your humble deac was the victim of two hate-motivated blog posts within the past 24 hours. Read:
You're a thithy
Fobipe

The blogosphere is abuzz with excitement. Readers are picking sides. The country has not been rent asunder like this since the fabled Cola Wars of '88. Which side do you fall on, dear reader? The side of the righteous (with me), or the side of the blight-eous (fobipe and thithy-boy)? You must choose wisely.

The Apple Tough Guys

It's been a week. I'm still waiting. I don't even think I want it anymore.

RJ = so not tough

Let's look at the evidence:

1. Closet Met fan
2. Likes Goo Goo Dolls
3. Drinks Malibu Bay Breezes

Need I say more?

Greg is a tough guy

There's a new QAssassin in town. His name is Bevis (pronounced "bee-vis"). Yes, you heard the deacster right. The deacon nearly pissed himself the first time he heard this. If I see anything catch fire, I know whom to blame. For hiring Mr. B, and for all of the soiled undergarments, and inadvertent spit takes in the days and weeks to come, Greg, you are Monday's tough guy. You're welcome. (heh heh...he said "come")