Crispy PIzza is a tough guy

The following is a paid announcement.

Aftah a lawng day of woik,

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I'm moppin' at Stout! I'm moppin' at Stout!

I like to settle down with a nice slice of...

CUH-RISPY PIZZA! CUH-RISPY PIZZA!

Brought to you by Crispy Pizza.

Censorship is a f#)%#)(%)$#*%g tough guy

Take 2. It's really not as funny as take 1.

Pieces of Crap...in Disguise

This is NOT my Megatron.

Updewd is a tough guy

Updewd is dangerous and should be stopped. The deac is placing it on notice, and warning his readers to be vigilant.

Day 16

The absurdity continues....

"El stache is killing me. He's hanging over my upper lip."

Fat is a tough guy

The deac would like to thank Ry for inspiring a new segment on youretough. For Ry, you see, had:

THE WORST DAY EVER

Ry's Worst Day Ever - A Play in three scenes
Scene 1: Roseland Ballroom @ The Raconteurs show
Ry: Let's call those guys after the show to see where they are.
Deac: Yeah, they might be hanging out around here.
Stacy: Tuh-roooooo!
R: You know what, they could be at Therapy.

Scene 2: Therapy
Although the others weren't at the bar, our three intrepid heroes decide to stay for The Ho & Mo Show. Jokes and singing abound. Drinks are served. All of a sudden...
Mo: It's now time for "TSF." We give you clues, and you guess who we're talking about. Ready? Okay...TSF needs a dye job.
Crowd: silence
Mo: TSF reads the news every night
Stacy: Ooh, ooh, ooh, what's his name?
Ry: Anderson Cooper!
Stacy: Right...Andasin Coopah!
Mo: Come onstage. Also, please join us up here.

Two ladies in the audience answer questions correctly and join the Ho, the Mo, and Ry onstage. One of the ladies answers another question correctly and advances to the finals. The competition comes down to Ry and the other girl. It is decided that the crowd's applause will determine who advances to the finals.

Mo: Okay, let's hear it for this young lady.
Crowd: Deafening applause. Pandemonium.
Ho: Now, how about for this handsome fella?
Crowd: Polite clapping
Stacy & The Deac: Yeah, Ry!!!!!

Ho: Sorry, honey. As your consolation prize, take a shot.
Ry: Takes the shot, and returns to his seat - Let's get the hell outta here. I'm so embarrassed.

Scene 3: Taxicab
Stacy: Aw, that sucks
Ryan: I can't believe this! WTF?
Deac: Dude, you lost a popularity contest...to a GIRL...IN A GAY BAR!!! HAHAHAHAHAH!!!
R: I KNOW!!! SERIOUSLY!!! It's cuz I'm fat, I know. If I had abs, I would've won that damn competition. That's it. I'm not eating ever again.
D: Let's go to Crystal's tomorrow.
R: Hell no. That's it. This is so insulting. I shouldn't have had those four beers tonight. That damn stage lighting added 10 lbs.
D: You better hit the gym tomorrow. You should probably be doing two-a-days for the next month.

The cab pulls up to Stacy's apartment.

Stacy: Latah, fatboys.
Ry: starts to cry


The End.

The culprit!

Tough Guys are a tough guy

Someone find the deac a lawyer. Not once, but TWICE this morning, the deacster was shocked to find his copyright infringed upon by supposed "legitimate" websites. First, we have this atrocity from Neiman Marcus:

And then the icing on the cake:

So, when did it become okay to rip people off for one's own benefit? It must've started with that sampling hack Notorious B.I.G.

Sharting Epidemic Rages On

This just in: Another reported case of sharting, this time on the SS HRC. Eyewitnesses Wednesday evening reported detecting a sudden burst of unpleasantness in the air. Photographers on the scene captured this photo:

If the boat's departing, don't come a-sharting

MySpace is the devil

Stay away from the deac! The friends list is CUT OFF!

The Yanks are a tough guy

The Yanks have clinched their 9th division title in a row. Nine years. That almost beats the deac's 28-year streak of toughness.

Bravo to you Jeter, Mo, Bernie, and Jorge. You are almost 1/3 as tough as the deac.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Contrary to popular belief, youretough.blogspot.com has not turned into the Stacy/El Stache blog. However, if you can find something more sad/entertaining/tough than this picture, the deac'll hand over admin rights to you in a heartbeat.

"IT'S ELEVEN THIR-TAYYYY!!"

Carl Pavano is a tough guy

Carl Pavano is a piece of crap.

It's 2002!

Yes, readers, 2002 is finally upon us. Who knew we'd make it this far? Starting off the year right is perennial tough guy Stacy.

Here she is, displaying a new device that's sure to sweep the nation. It's called an iPod, made by Apple Computers, purveyors of the colorful iMacs. What does this contraption do? Why, it's a digital music player. What does that mean for ordinary people like you and the deac? It means you can put dang near all of your music on this thing and take it with you wherever you go. If the deac ever gets one, he's going to listen to it on his commute. The deac even bets that, someday, people will use it at the gym, or even in their cars! Imagine that.

Stacy, you might be onto something here.

"I'm gonna load that hot new song by Nelly....'Hot in Herre'"

Miracle on Grass: Part Deux

The Disabled List 5 - Kronstadt Crushers 4

How in the world did the deacster pull off this upset? Down 9-0 early in the week, the Disabled List rallied past the heavily favored Kronstadt Crushers to advance to the Real Power Baseball 3 Finals. How will this Cinderella story end?

Next up: God of War

"I'm just trying to be a better person...

...My name is RJ."

Day 08

'Stache for Cash: Day 4

SFC '06 rolls on....

Lando's moustache, a.k.a. "Fasano," absorbed all ambient light in the room, resulting in this blurry mess

Says Lando, "i could use a wax. but not on that hair."

Don't be a jerk

Earn official tough guy status by donating. Be tough...give enough.

Tender Friday

The rain has washed away the world's toughness today. Instead, behold this creepy video.

Stacy's Diner is a tough guy

"Welcome, welcome, welcome to Stacy's Dinah. Established in 2006, we specialize in serving yew the finest in frogular cuisine.

"Sample our delectable Frog Salad...

"Marvel at our shimmy shimmy...

Special of the Day: Knuckle Sandwich

"Ooh, ooh, ohh!"

Fall is here

As summer fades and the winds cool, fall fashion is on everyone's minds. For one particular girl from Secaucus, mid-September is the perfect time to put her new work clothes on display.

'stache for Cash is a tough guy

'stache for Cash '06 is underway. Starting us off this year is Magnum R.J. Above is a photo from Day 1. Below is a projection of Day 30:

The deac has put up $40 of his own money to see this happen. All proceeds go to the "Buy RJ a New Mac Fund," which has helped inner city youth buy expensive computers for nearly 20 minutes now. Won't you please help?

Papi is a tough guy

Big Papi : MVP :: youretough.blogspot.com : tough

Miracle on Grass is a tough guy

Do you believe in miracles?

After three crushing regular-season defeats at the hands of the overpowering Birdyville Slugger, not much was expected of The Disabled List, who just barely eked out a playoff spot. Luck and B.S. injuries proved to be the difference makers in round 1 of the playoffs. Next up: Kronstadt Crushers.

New York City cops...they ain't too cool

Beware, criminals of New York!

Superheroes are a tough guy

The New York Comic Convention was in town a few weeks ago. A few of the superheroes stopped by Birthdaypalooza:

The Wonder Twins

Invisible Woman

Toad

The Joker

No Ma'am

The Hand

Pimpin' ain't easy, but it IS a tough guy

Any takers? Best offer wins.

The End is Nigh

THE Stacy Tauthong will soon be purchasing an iPod. On a related note, this flying pig was spotted over Iowa:

The Jeep is a tough guy

Purchased: Fall 1996
Miles: ~340,000
Highlights: Vermont, AC, Vermont, AC, Philly, Vermont, NYC, Vermont, Maine, Westside Ave.
Notes: Do NOT sit in the back seat on the driver's side.

1996-2006, R.I.P.

Sal Fasano is a tough guy