It's early

So, someone called a 9 a.m. meeting for today. The deac shows up early (for the first time ever), and, wouldn't you know it, nobody's here. It's, it's not funny. It's not fun.

Science is a tough guy

According to a recent study out of England, "women talk almost three times as much as men, with the average woman chalking up 20,000 words in a day." Apart from "dinner's ready," and "here is your beer," what else is there to say?

Enjoy minutes of fun...

...with the Borat soundboard.

Fashion is a tough guy

He's back from vacation, and the deac has just one (and only one) comment about this picture, taken over the weekend:Why are they only wearing one stocking each?

That's all. Just wondering.

A Special Holiday Greeting from the Deac

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, YOU BARBARIANS!

Baseball Writers are a tough guy

Derek Jeter is in stable condition after being robbed this afternoon by Minnesota Twin Justin Morneau. Jeter is in good spirits, and is expected to make a full recovery.

Dave's Gourmet is a tough guy

This past Saturday, a new standard of tough was set. If you think you're tough enough to make it onto this blah-g, think again. Though nearly everyone had a taste (everyone except "This ketchup is tew spicy" Fojas), one person emerged as the toughest of us all. Managing to eat one fingerful, and four french fries slathered with Dave's Gourmet Roasted Garlic hot sauce, this tough guy set a new benchmark of excellence. Who was this bastion of toughness? Why, it was none other than THE DEAC HIMSELF! (Honorable mention: Janelle came a distant second.)

Reunited and it feels so tough

The deac is back from his 4-day vacation, ready to bring 10 seconds of toughness to your otherwise miserable days. Some Hoax III tough guy highlights:

• Sitting in the front row of off-Broadway play Altar Boyz, and getting inadvertently spit on by the actors
• Mistakenly going to the Museum of Natural History twice
• Riding a "non-junk-friendly" bicycle seat for 25 miles, and feeling it the next morning
• Being repeatedly referred to as "Asian Guy" at the Comedy Cellar
• Coming in second place in the Watson Adventure, but winning a free scavenger hunt coupon
• Going to the Knicks-Cavs game, and finding the celebrity sightings more interesting than the game itself
  
• Hearing a four-year-old ask his mom, "What's that ball hanging from the tiger's butt?" and then hearing about the difference between girl and boy tigers.

Has anyone ever had a tougher vacation? The deac doubts it.

Vacations are a tough guy

Hoax III by the numbers thus far:

• 11 - hours spent working
• 2 - number of visits to the office
• 23 - number of minutes on hold with tech support, waiting for VPN restoration
• 0 - number of hat cheeks the deac's met
  

Clearly, the deac is having as much fun as these people are:

Triumph International is a tough guy

The brilliant Japanese have done it again! Triumph International of Japan has created a bra that converts into a shopping bag. Finally, something that will hold your jugs and your jugs. Get yours today, ladies.

Hubba Hubba

Newly separated, Britney's looking fit again and is in NYC. The deac's going to splash on a little Polo Sport, throw a little pomade into the 'do, roam the streets, and see what happens.

Check out her new hairstyle. Pregnancy usually causes hair to grow, but HOLY COW.

Say it ain't so!

Britney Spears has decided to split from husband Kevin Federline, bringing the number of shocking Hollywood divorces this year to 0.

Tyler Brayton is a tough guy

Last night, on Monday Night Football, Tyler Drayton did this to Jerramy Stevens. A similar thing occurred the last time the deac asked a hat cheek out to dinner.

Theft is a tough guy

The deac is incensed! How did Yahoo! find a childhood photo of him?! How?! HOW?!?!

King of Poop is a tough guy

A special "Your tough" goes to Yoko for sending this video. Unfortunately, the song isn't on iTunes yet. Here's to hoping!

T.O. is a tough guy.

Sleeping in meetings? The deac and T.O. must be distant relatives.

Lost is a tough guy

If you missed Lost last night, you missed a doozy. After four weeks of slow-moving storylines, and meandering plots, the writers sprung one hell of a shocker on viewers. In an episode that will no doubt be seen as the high point of season 3...

..."new" castaway Nikki was finally given decent screen time!

Nikki's introduction has already shaken the show to its core; the reigning hot chick triumvirate of Kate, Claire, and Rose must now make way for this fetching newcomer.

Damn you, Lost! Damn you and your abundance of eye candy! After a five-month pardon, you're tough and you're back on notice.

Oh, yeah, Eko died last night, too. Baw, snewze.

Fighting Crime is a tough guy

When you're in need...
When crime is at its worst...
Who will come to your aid???

NACHO FOJAS!

Who strikes fear in the hearts of evildoers?

NACHO FOJAS!

Who knits the meanest sweatahs this side of the Hudson?

NACHO FOJAS!

Who can stretch a one-syllable word for a long as it takes? It's tuh-roo! It's...

NACHO FOJAS!


In this episode, Nacho battles The Reluctant Participant:

Distracted by Nacho's sexy outfit, Reluctant Participant is caught off guard

RP: "Why did I agree to this?"

Tune in next week for the Continuing Adventures of Nacho Fojas.