HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Huh?

What, exactly, is going on in this painting? And why is it hanging in a very public place (34th and 8th)? Ponder that for the weekend while the deac attends two thirtieth birthday parties.

Oh, it's so real!

There is some doubt in the youretough community as to the authenticity of the Kiefer picture. People think the deac knows how to use Photoshop. They also wonder why the deac isn't in any of these pictures. The truth is that, had two of the toughest and most awesome forces in the universe actually been photographed together, the universe would have imploded. You're welcome.

Don't mess with this guy

Yes, yes, Mr. Jack Bauer did punch the deac in the arm, and he did shake the deac and That Guy's hands, and he did buy us a round, and he did have a lengthy conversation with That Guy, and he was a nice guy. Thanks, Mr. Sutherland. You're the toughest (again).

Great Moments in Stinking

Not too long ago...

1 drink in
Some Female: Folks, I think we're all in trouble. Joseph Stiglitz, a Nobel-prize winning economist, said the U.S. economy is "probably" in a recession with a housing-market collapse sapping consumer spending.

2 drinks in
SF: I'm not sure whom to vote for yet. I'll let the Democratic nominee be chosen and then I'll make an educated decision.

3 drinks in
SF: Did you see what that chickenhead Seasinz did on Flavor of Love? I hate that bitch.

4 drinks in
SF: Smell my pits! Smell! My! Pits!

"I'll do it, but I don't have to like it."

Ew Ew Ew - Toim's runnin' out!

Poor Stacy. Thirty has her in its crosshairs.

Lost Causes are a tough guy

deac: the song from "once" won best song last night at the oscars; they chose wisely
*s!: never saw it
deac:

*s!: meh
deac: wow, ok. well, how about this one? it's the opening scene of the movie

*s!: underwhelming. i just don't get that kind of music. never have.
deac: oh, "good" music?
deac: so, what awe-inspiring music are you listening to right now?
*s!: britney spears

Penn Researchers are a tough guy

A "researcher" at the University of Pennsylvania put his bong down long enough to conduct a study and conclude that Derek Jeter - owner of four World Series rings and three Gold Gloves - is the worst-fielding shortstop in baseball, thereby cementing the school's reputation as the Ringo of the Ivies.

voracious

Enter the ICHC online Poker Cats Contest!

Lists are a tough guy

Welcome to this month's edition of The Suck List, the five suckiest people orbiting Planet Deac.

The Suck List - February 2008 Edition

(1) Todd - for being "that guy"
(2) Er - for refusing to play Rock Band all last weekend
(3) James - for bringing a disease back from the Philippines next week
(4) Rob - for rubbing it in by growing a beard

391 days since last shave

(5) RJ - for adopting the Deac Meal Plan circa 2006. Touche! (note: the deac adopted the RJ meal plan at the end of 2006)

Blog of the Year

The deac approves:

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

The deac still doesn't buy it

The sounds the deac encountered in the mens' room this morning brought this age-old question to mind:

...but the deac remains unconvinced by their findings.

Dear Valentine,

You complete me.

Love,
Your Deac

Math is a tough guy

5 Jack & Diet Cokes + 2 glasses of Jameson neat + 1 credit card = Best Purchase of 2008!

Great Moments in Drinking

Hey, kids. It's time for another installment of Great Moments in Drinking...

2/1/2008 - Some loud bar in the Lower East Side.
The deac and his pal, Bearded Wonder, are out on the town. It's approximately midnight. BW's at the bar grabbing drinks, when, out of the blue, a P.Y.T., approaches him.

PYT: Hey, it's crowded here, huh?
BW: It sure is. Can I buy you a drank?
PYT: You can, and you may.
BW & PYT: blah blah blah

The deac sidles up to the bar.
BW: Hey, here's my friend Chris.
Deac: Hey, nice to meet you.
PYT: Nice to meet you, too. How do you know each other?
Deac: We're brothers.
PYT: Oh,...okay. Wanna come meet my friends?
Deac & BW: Sure
Hilarity ensues.

2/7/2008 - Stout Bar in Midtown
The deac and Bearded Wonder are out once again. This time, they're out with Sak. BW is on his way to the restroom when he hears a shout...

Girl: BEARDED WONDER!!!
BW turns around to see...PYT at a table with her friends. "What are the odds?" he thinks to himself.
BW: Whoa, nice to see you again. What's up?
PYT: Not much, just having a few drinks with my friends.
BW: Oh, cool. I'm here with Chris.
Sakdaroc passes by, on his way to the bathroom.
PYT: (waving at Sak) Hi, Chris!

Re-enactments are a tough guy

"Hey Declan, do 'David Hasselhoff drunk on a floor, playing with his sandwich'!"

The Real World is a tough guy

As we all know, the Deacster has been living in a snuggly cocoon of his own making for most of his life. Suffice to say, it's been all Wii's and beers for him, sucked through the straw of this all-day laugh he likes to call "his job". But we know what it really is in the end: a punchline to a joke that ended years ago.

So, wake up, Deacs. The Real World is knocking on your door and it's not leaving without you. Slap on your shirt and tie, strap on your knapsack, and get moving.

We're all waiting for you here on the other side.

Super, thanks for asking!

Congratulations to Eli Manning and the New York Giants for demolishing the Evil Empire yesterday, and taking away some of the sting of 2004.

Super Bowl XLII facts:
$300 : amount lost, in bets, by a certain reader of youretough
$2.09 : cost of feeding a family in Guatemala for a month

Time Warner is a tough guy

deacs internet is down so hes typing this entry on his phone. technician is coming next friday. until then no xbox live or surfing. he may have to >horror<>damn u time warner cable! youre tough, but no internet is tougher