Guidebooks are a tough guy

The 5 kinds of strippers. Read and learn you something.

Someone's Cinema Classics

Happy Birthday to MJ

The King of Pop is 49 today.

Day 5

(Rol)Ando, the deac, and his sword

When he's not winning championships with the Yankees, the deac's out saving cheerleaders and saving the world. With his trusty friend, (Rol)Ando, the deac darts in and out of the space-time continuum to right wrongs and buy lottery tickets. In one sad instance, however, the forces of evil were too strong for the deac to overcome. For, try as he did, American Idol still debuted in the summer of 2002.

Happy Birthday!!

Deac the Awesome turns 29 today. Celebrate in your own special way.

Part 4: Hideaci Matsui

Part 4 of our 5-part look back takes us to the the present day, a.k.a. the Yankee years.

After making a name for himself in Japan, the deacster was acquired by the Yankees in the winter of 2003 in an attempt to bolster their roster and, let's face it, increase their awesome factor. Batting .299 with 101 HR and 449 RBIs lifetime with the Yanks, and voted American League MTP (Most Tough Player) four years running, perhaps the deac's biggest contribution to the team has been showing Derek Jeter the ropes with the ladies. To wit - Jeter's girlfriends post-2003: Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Vanessa Minillo. You're welcome, Cap.

'stache is back, and is once again a tough guy

In what can only be construed as anattempt to steal Birthdaypalooza's thunder, El Stache has made a brief and ill-timed return. This morning, Best Week Eva is purported to have cut himself shaving, thus necessitating the use of a band-aid. Well played, Adolf.

Accident...or publicity stunt? You decide.

Day 3

The first and best vacation the deac ever took was for a class field trip to Southeast Asia, back when he was still a short round.

Led by our teacher, Dr. Jones, the class explored caves and tunnels, learned local customs,

and sampled the cuisine (verdict: tew spicy).

"But deac," you say. "You've been to so many places, and seen so many awesome things. Why's this trip so special?"

True, the deac's been all over the world - London, Paris, Rome, the Jersey shore - but there's something truly magical about seeing someone's heart ripped out for the first time.

The Sun is a tough guy

After 4 1/2 dreary days of clouds and rain, the sun finally made an appearance 'round these parts. What scared the clouds away? Probably this.

Day 2 of This is Your Life

Part 2 of our 5-part retrospective takes us to the deac's Middle School years...

Years of piano lessons finally paid off, as a young proto-deac was asked by his substitute teacher to join the school's rock band.

Rehearsals are a tough guy

Nervous at first, little deac rose to the challenge, and proved for the first - but certainly not the last - time that he definitely was "coo leenough."

The countdown begins...

7 days until Birthdaypalooza 2007 kicks off. In preparation for this highly-anticipated event, the deac is taking you on a tour through the major events off his life. Today, we start at the beginning.

Though born in 1970-something, the deac's life as you know it didn't truly begin until his adoption several years later by an obscure actress. It was at the height of the Mr. T era (see the deac's hairdo), and things were about to get interesting. I love you, Mom!

Tomorrow, we take a look at the deac's school years, in part 2 of our 5-part retrospective.

Your Boy is Back

Deac's back from vacation in an undisclosed location. Funny crap resumes tomorrow. In the meantime, enjoy these pictures taken from the balcony of his hotel room. For the login/password to view the uncensored photos, you'll have to send an e-mail request, along with your desired payment information. Duro! Duro!

True Genius

Hot.

Team Awesome is a tough guy

2007 Super Bocce Standings

The 2007 NJ Super Bocce season is halfway done. The standings speak for themselves: Team Awesome, anchored by Signore Deac, sits atop the division, enjoying a comfortable 2-game lead over The Jerkfaces. Team Awesome plays 6 of its remaining 10 games against the hapless Can't Buy a Win franchise. When asked about his outlook for the rest of the season, Deac said, "No sweat. We throw the biggest balls in the league."

Sakdaroc's Birthday

Stock photo

'twas Sak's birthday over the weekend. Steaky took pictures. They should be up by next February.

Rockaway ain't so bad after all

If you thought living in the mountains of Rockaway, NJ was the pits, be grateful you don't live in these crapholes. On second thought, the deac wouldn't mind living in #6.

Landmarking is a tough guy

First, Double Happiness, now the Pussycat Lounge (not that the deac's ever been here). This city is becoming unrecognizable.