Vacation Elation

So begins our tremendo 4-day weekend. What does the deacster have planned for himself? Getaway trips? No. The beach? No. Barbecues? Probably not. XBOX 360? Hell f'ing yeah!!! See you mothers at the endway of the holiday.

Mental Illness is a tough guy

This is what the deacster's thoughts look like today:
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Photoshop is a tough guy

Yum?

The Deacster is back

Two words for you all: Canada Blows!

Damm Raccoon

In the deacster's absence, his trusty post master at Best Week Eva, Timmy Cas, will not let the tough of the week slide by without a post. Lucky Dough of Lucky Dough low sided off his bike on the dead road to his house. Why you ask? Because of a family of raccoons jumped out of nowhere and onto his bike and helmet and everything! Thats just crazy s if you ask me. What is crazy s? The fact that a family of raccoons jumped onto his helmet. Second accident in a year - not so crazy. Family of raccoons - thats just crazy! I know I know. You are reading this and you saying this doesnt qualify for a tough post. So in the after math of this crazy ass raccoon attack the EMT is checking out Lucky Dough and I mean lucky and Lucky Dough yells, "Don't cut the jacket!!!!" Luckily for Dough the EMT didn't cut the leather. Lucky Dough you just qualified for the lucky and tough post for the week. Anyone that is worried about his jacket after his life starts flahing is officially TOUGH!

Vacations: The Un-tough-ifier

The freakin' deacon is on his way to the beautiful sandy beaches of tropical Winnipeg, Manitoba CAN. There, he'll swim in the bluest waters he's ever seen, sip delicious pina coladas on the beach, and bask in the sun's deadly rays. If you're in the neighborhood, give the deac a call.

That said, there's nothing that reduces one's toughness level more than going on vacation. Vacations, in theory, promote relaxation and relieve stress. As such, the deacster is often loathe to go. How can the deacster's search for the world's tough continue if he's in a good mood? You'll find out soon, dear reader! Tune in next Tuesday as the deacster makes his triumphant return, golden-brown style.

Dwyane Wade is a Tuogh Guy

For his MJ-like abilities, for leading the Heat to their 1st championship in franchise history, and for spelling his name the way he does, Dwyane Wade has edged out Timmy Caslin in the race to be today's tuogh guy. See you in Disney World, Dwyane.

100th Post!

Wanted: Weekday Drinking Buddies
As readers may or may not know, the deacster likes to do his carousing on the weekdays. Up until recently, this was not a problem. Life was good. There were drinking buddies a-plenty, and the beer did flow. In the past few weeks/months, an unfortunate series of events has unfolded, leaving the the deac to wonder why he has been forsaken:

1. The conception and gestation of Max Topp, P.I.
2. The nuptials of Bab and Ally 'bipe
   
3. The sobriety of Tawddyc
4. The departures of Jameses W. and H.
5. The unexplained disappearance of THE Stacy so-and-so

What's a deacon to do? For starters, he's taking applications. Be wild. Be creative. Show him why you want to roll with him.

Incidentally, if you're over 33 or a "responsbile adult," thanks, but no thanks. Adulthood and maturity (see #'s 1-3 above) have no place in the deacster's world. Fool deac once, shame...shame on you. Fool deac twice......................................................... won't get fooled again.

Humidity: Tough or Not Tough?

The dilemma: Humidity causes the deac great discomfort in the summertime, but it also causes NYC's female population to underdress. What's the verdict? The deacster will take two showers - along with chicks in tank tops - over 30 degree weather and sweaters/turtlenecks any day!

Rock Stardom is a tough guy

Once again, the deacster cannot roam the halls of the office without being hounded by paparazzi. After today's half-company meeting/CR Experience showcase, the throngs have been all up in the deac's grill -- asking for autographs, offering to buy drinks, etc. Rock Stardom, the deac can't even go to the restroom in peace. What are you doing to him? Lay off the deac. He's busy. (unless you're a hot chick...in that case, his door is wide open)

Work is a tough guy

Wow, the deacster hasn't been this bombarded with work in quite some time. He is putting work on notice.

Fiddlesticks is a Tough Guy

A word to the wise: Do NOT eat the grilled salmon steak sandwich at Fiddlesticks in the West Village, unless you're willing to get up at 5:30 in the morning with a MASSIVE case of the scoots. "A friend" of the deacster's nearly passed out from the pain while sitting on the can this morning. The deac hears that it was quite a harrowing experience.

This has been a public service announcement from your Friendly Neighborhood Deacon.

Team Sideswipe: Toughest of All

So, Team Sideswipe didn't advance in the playoffs, having been knocked out in the Quarterfinal game. So what? They played their little hearts out, and, in the process, earned eternal tough guy status. Bravo, Team Sideswipe. Bravo.

Disgrace

Deac hangs his head in shame. A 2-7-1 loss to Muthaf*kin Walkoff has dampened his Monday morning spirit.

Today, I am Ivan Drago

Today, the deacster is Ivan Drago. I must break you.

Anybody hiring?

The deacster is fed up with life in the seminary. If you've got a sweet gig lined up, and you'd like some awesome company, drop the deac a line.

Team Sports are a Tough Guy

After the suckfest that was last night's volleyball "game," the deacster's outburst and snubbing of his teammates, and, finally, the warning by the ref not to dunk on the lowered basketball nets, the deac has decided that this will be his final season of organized team sports. Losing puts him in a filthy mood, and the only way to spare yourself from this mood is to not suck. Fairness is wonderful and all, but that all goes out the window when the playoffs are on the line.

19-11 (2nd place)

(p.s. Second place is first loser.)

There are no words.....

dough: how long has Crazy Bitch been on rj's friends list?
deac: for what?
deac: friendster?
dough: myspace

deac: uh
RJ: yo
deac: do you want a knuckle sammich?
deac: cruzindough: how long has Crazy Bitch been on rj's friends list?
RJ: LOL

RJ has finally earned DTM status. He is officially DEAD TO ME.

Beware the Future

They're breeding superhumans over in China. Prepare yourselves for the coming battle!

Josh Beckett, You're Killing the Deac

While the deacster is pleased that the Yankees spanked the Sawx last night, he must ask why they had to do it against one of his top fantasy baseball pitchers. Josh Beckett, he of the occasional soul patch, has put the deac in the precarious and humiliating position of trailing Muthaf*kin Joke 9-1. How embarrassing is this early deficit? Have a look at the standings:

Mutherf*kin Walkoff is Semi-Tough

The sad tale of Mutherf*kin Walkoff:

* Week 1: 3-6-1
* Week 2: 3-7-0
* Week 3: 3-6-1
* Week 4: 6-4-0
* Week 5: 2-7-1
* Week 6: 0-8-2 (ouch!)
* Week 7: 4-6-0
* Week 8: 0-10-0 (double ouch!)
* Week 9: 6-3-1

MW's overall record: 27-57-6. Current standing: 11th (out of 10)

The deacster gives semi-respect and semi-tough guy status to Mutherf*kin Joke for pulling out a win this past week, but MJ's fantasy baseball campaign is truly an exercise in futility.

The deacon says it twice

Quit yer bellyachin', babies. Your beloved deac has returned. After a week of letting the inmates run the asylum, he's back and better than ever.

Return of The Deacster

Quit yer bellyachin', babies. Your beloved deac has returned. After a week of letting the inmates run the asylum, he's back and better than (Best Week) eva!

The ancient British empire is tough

You drank it warm and still thought it was the shiznit. This was in ancient times, long before your sorry ass balanced a frilly drink in a martini glass on top of a doily. Grow a pair and remember where you came from: Olde English. Malt liquor is tough and you're not.

Take it away, Shorty Rocks......

Stop sweating me, you perverts!

Kelli Butz is Irwynn's Tough Girl

Stepping to the plate: Irwynn...

kelli butz is one tough girl, for living her entire life with the last name 'butz.' she's so tough that she didn't even change her last name when she got married. her husband's last name is rottencrotch.