THE WORST DAY EVER
Ry's Worst Day Ever - A Play in three scenes
Scene 1: Roseland Ballroom @ The Raconteurs show
Ry: Let's call those guys after the show to see where they are.
Deac: Yeah, they might be hanging out around here.
Stacy: Tuh-roooooo!
R: You know what, they could be at Therapy.
Scene 2: Therapy
Although the others weren't at the bar, our three intrepid heroes decide to stay for The Ho & Mo Show. Jokes and singing abound. Drinks are served. All of a sudden...
Mo: It's now time for "TSF." We give you clues, and you guess who we're talking about. Ready? Okay...TSF needs a dye job.
Crowd: silence
Mo: TSF reads the news every night
Stacy: Ooh, ooh, ooh, what's his name?
Ry: Anderson Cooper!
Stacy: Right...Andasin Coopah!
Mo: Come onstage. Also, please join us up here.
Two ladies in the audience answer questions correctly and join the Ho, the Mo, and Ry onstage. One of the ladies answers another question correctly and advances to the finals. The competition comes down to Ry and the other girl. It is decided that the crowd's applause will determine who advances to the finals.
Mo: Okay, let's hear it for this young lady.
Crowd: Deafening applause. Pandemonium.
Crowd: Polite clapping
Stacy & The Deac: Yeah, Ry!!!!!
Ho: Sorry, honey. As your consolation prize, take a shot.
Ry: Takes the shot, and returns to his seat -
Scene 3: Taxicab
Stacy: Aw, that sucks
Ryan: I can't believe this! WTF?
Deac: Dude, you lost a popularity contest...to a GIRL...IN A GAY BAR!!! HAHAHAHAHAH!!!
R: I KNOW!!! SERIOUSLY!!! It's cuz I'm fat, I know. If I had abs, I would've won that damn competition. That's it. I'm not eating ever again.
D: Let's go to Crystal's tomorrow.
R: Hell no. That's it. This is so insulting. I shouldn't have had those four beers tonight. That damn stage lighting added 10 lbs.
D: You better hit the gym tomorrow. You should probably be doing two-a-days for the next month.
The cab pulls up to Stacy's apartment.
Stacy: Latah, fatboys.
Ry: starts to cry
The End.
